I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize