I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize