I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
