I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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