just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
