there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
