Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
