Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
