this boner is exhausting
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
