Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
