I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
