oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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