When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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