so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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