I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
