i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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