life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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