I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
