Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
