What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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