he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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