There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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