Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
