is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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