Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
cat food counts as protein by the way
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
