i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
