Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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