I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
