Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
