marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
