I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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