I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
