My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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