Welp...herpes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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