Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize