don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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