There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
