i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Jerry, you need to find god
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
