Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I can text with my tongue
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
