so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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