mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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