oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
