3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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