it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
