I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
