I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it's great music for shaving your balls
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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