1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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