I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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