I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
