is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
