and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She needs sedatives and a leash
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
