Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
