When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
