so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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