And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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