But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
