It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
