our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
