How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
