I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
