Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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