Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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